This is probably part 1.
Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder
All of us have read this somewhere or heard it somewhere. So the question is: Does it? Yesterday, I was having a conversation with a friend and she mentioned that she wished she was beautiful. That beautiful people have it easier as compared to us mere, average looking mortals. After we had that talk, she also later on texted me a study which categorized beautiful people as sharper, more confident and successful.
I know my friend reads my blog (At least that’s what she told me) and I was going to write this post to inspire her, to boost her confidence, to be a good friend. But it’s not just that. I genuinely, truly believe what I’m about to say and if you’re a person who struggles with about body-image, do read on.
A lot of celebrities have complained about the “problems” of being beautiful. (Megan Fox, Charlize Theron etc). “People think I’m just a pretty face” etc. Before we judge them, maybe that is one side of a problem and maybe it is a hassle to keep getting unwanted attention. Of course, the world can be very shallow most of the time and expect every woman to have big eyes, full lips, long, curly eyelashes, a petite body that is also simultaneously toned. Even if you did miraculously achieve all of that, there would a stupid trend going around about being thin only if you can put your hand around your waist and touch your belly button. That was the worst trend I’ve ever seen. If you can do it, good for you! If not, does it matter? Does it really matter if you have a thigh gap as long as you’re fit and healthy from the inside?
I read this post the other day- unfortunately, I can’t find it right now (I tried. A lot.) There was this picture of a lady who started out at 145 lbs and reduced herself to 125 lbs. She later did a lot of training and ate the right foods and bumped right back to 140 lbs but she was extremely toned, fit and looked in better shape than ever. She said something along the lines of “The weighing scale is just a number. Don’t become so obsessed with a number that you lose track of the main goal- to be fit. There was only a difference of 5 lbs between my initial weight and my final one, but I feel better and stronger”. WHICH IS SO TRUE!
Everyone is built differently. Some people have broad shoulders and some people have big thighs which give everyone a different look and it’s always easier for tall people to look thinner even if they weigh the same as a short person. So does it even make the slightest sense for me, a 5”2 tiny human to look at tall, leggy, Gisele Bundchen and type “Gisele Bundchen workout” on Google in hopes that it will get me in shape? No. Everyone’s body is completely different and you need to workout differently in order to get your desired body shape. Also, people who study/work everyday, can find it exhausting to go and workout and then come back and finish that 1000 word essay. Toning your body takes time and patience and not to mention a lot of the celebrities who people drool over have personal trainers, people there to advice them throughout the day. And it’s part of their job to look their best!
Another thing, I cannot do a smokey eye to save my life. The only way I can get a smokey eye is if my cooking goes bad. Looking at the Victoria’s Secret fashion show is literally watching my body- image dramatically lower. But it lasts for literally a minute before I’m back at the fridge eating chocolate and cursing my willpower. So whenever you see someone walking along, who seems well dressed, well put together (AND HAS A SMOKEY EYE WHAT!), just remember that they put a lot of effort into it. They actually got up at 5 in the morning to go to work by 7:30 whereas I just rolled out of bed in my pyjamas. My point is, make up hides a lot of what people consider “flaws”. I’ve looked at people who look like completely different people with and without makeup. Which is totally fine. Whatever makes you happy. But when you get up and see yourself in the mirror, looking like you do, you need to remember, it was YOUR choice. You decided not to put on a lot of makeup/buy a lot of makeup. If you want to look like hudabeauty, you better be willing to put in the time. If you don’t, then welcome to my club.
Apart from that, in my opinion, beauty is subjective. Sometimes I like a particular celebrity and I can’t stop raving about him/her- their hair, their eyes, their chiseled features but my friend seems totally indifferent. (Daily occurence) How would that be possible if we didn’t have different opinions? Also, sometimes a person’s personality just takes over and they’re so charming that you can’t help but find them attractive. A lot of people named that the Benedict Cumberbatch effect who actually is the perfect example for the scenario. He’s a complete goofball in his interviews and despite his non-conventional looks, people love him.
In India, people have this RIDICULOUS expectation that only white, skinny people are the best and that brown/black people have an “unclean vibe”. A country filled with brown people thinking white is best. White is exotic. Reverse-American idealogy.
Meet my woman crush, Radhika Apte (left) who I consider SUPER PRETTY AND AMAZING. And Sayani Gupta who is also gorgeous. I pointed them out to my friend and told her to look at these women. They’re brown and fine as hell. Even then, Radhika has complained about being discriminated against because of skin color. Which is down right ironic because she lives in INDIA. AKA WHERE BROWN PEOPLE LIVE.
I don’t know if this went in the direction it was supposed to but it did get a lot of things off my chest. Things I want to scream at people. Things I want to scream at to a country which endorses fairness creams like it’s nobody’s business.
You are beautiful. I am beautiful. We all are. Have pimples? Put on makeup. Or don’t. It’s your choice! Think you’re fat? Check your body mass index. If it says you’re good, then you’re good. If it doesn’t, you could take baby steps to eat healthy. You could do an intensive program. YOUR choice. If you don’t let people dictate you about your weight or your skin, why should you let them dictate if you’re beautiful or not? In the wise words of Selena Gomez, who says?